Genre: Science Fiction | Author: Dean Wesley Smith | Release Date: 1999
Agents Jay and Elle battle Zahurians—telepathic, carnivorous aliens disguised as plum trees—before Earth is either devoured or vaporized by alien forces bent on eradicating the invasive species.
Plot
Men in Black: The Green Saliva Blues introduces a delightfully absurd premise that fits well within the franchise’s quirky alien-policing universe. Earth is under siege—sort of—from Zahurians, an alien species that disguises itself as beautiful plum trees. On vacation and hungry for meat, the Zahurians are snacking their way across the human population. MIB Agents Jay and Elle must intervene quickly, not just to protect civilians from becoming fertilizer, but also to prevent Earth from being annihilated by alien warships orbiting the planet, waiting for an excuse to cleanse the Zahurian infestation with fire.
At its core, the plot is simple but inventive. The Zahurians make for a creepy and original species; their ability to camouflage as trees, telepathic communication, and carnivorous feeding habits (absorbing liquified prey through their roots) all contribute to their menace. The pacing is fast and fluid, following the MIB agents through various encounters and investigations. There’s a good dose of urgency, especially as tensions rise with alien factions circling Earth, threatening annihilation if the MIB doesn’t act fast.
That said, the plot does lack complexity. While the concept is entertaining and imaginative, the structure is mostly linear, with few twists or narrative layers. There’s a consistent sense of movement and threat, but it never quite hits a peak of suspense. The danger is present, but never truly frightening. You know Jay and Elle will come out on top, and the stakes—while galactic in scale—feel more like a set piece than an emotional gauntlet. It’s fun, breezy, and nostalgic, but not especially deep.
Rating: 3 out of 5
Production
The writing in The Green Saliva Blues is very much in line with the tone and rhythm of the Men in Black films, especially the first two entries. There's a crisp, comedic beat to the dialogue, and Agent Jay’s sarcasm paired with Elle’s sharp wit offers great chemistry and banter. Their exchanges channel the snappy, deadpan humor fans expect from MIB. While the narrative doesn't take time to delve deep into the characters’ inner lives or backstories, the charm of the writing keeps things moving and engaging.
From a prose perspective, the author nails the franchise’s tonal balance of absurd sci-fi and grounded police procedural. Descriptions of the Zahurians are vivid—acidic green blood, root-based feeding, and their camouflage as decorative plants in urban environments are effectively unsettling without veering into body horror. These aliens aren’t just generic monsters; they’re designed with world-building in mind, and that helps maintain a certain internal logic.
However, the book does fall short on atmospheric tension. For all the planet-threatening consequences, the tone stays light and breezy. The Zahurian threat is unique, but not deeply explored. Their motivations are practically nonexistent beyond their hunger, and the larger galactic threat (alien fleets poised to destroy Earth) feels like a narrative backdrop rather than a rising dread.
The story structure is lean—no wasted chapters or overly long diversions—but that comes at the cost of depth. There's little room for subplots or character introspection. Still, for what it sets out to be—a brisk, tongue-in-cheek sci-fi romp—it performs admirably.
Rating: 3 out of 5
The Verdict
In the end, Men in Black: The Green Saliva Blues is a witty and imaginative addition to the franchise, delivering laughs, bizarre aliens, and the kind of zany conflict you'd expect from a story involving carnivorous trees. While it lacks real suspense and deeper character development, the writing shines with sharp dialogue and a steady pace. Fans of the films will find much to enjoy here. It’s a fun, light sci-fi read. Men in Black: The Green Saliva Blues 3 out of 5.
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